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| Bring Me Joy | Published Jan 1998 Article By Jean-Manuel Maries From Paintball Games International |
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| This year's powerball scandinavian masters played host to 45 5-man teams from europe and the USA, so french editor Jean-Manuel Maries took those lovely lotharios the Tontons flingeurs along to meet some women and play a few games.
On Thursday morning the five of us had gathered at the airport, all set and ready for our trip to the land of pretty girls, or so they say. Which means our luggage was saturated with perfumes, hair dryers, combs and shirts. We had barely managed to squeeze in our Paintball gear among the collection of male love-parade trappings. We registered the precious bags all the way to Stockholm, and boarded a flight that looked just like any other flight. Ever since we first played against Scandinavian teams, we've been impressed by the energy they display. Take a look at the '96 Hyperball Amateur podiums, and you'll quickly grasp why we were eager to meet these guys on their own ground. The two of us who had played in last year's event had filled the others' heads with stories about blond girls and incredible games on nice fields, all of which we wanted to check for ourselves. We were supposed to have plenty of time to walk the fields on arrival, as the sun doesn't set until 10pm at that time of the year. So we were smiling and light-hearted as we went to the carrousel where our luggage was waiting for us. As you might have guessed, not all of it was. Three bags were reported missing. As pitiable as it may seem, it is not unusual. Very often, something goes wrong in Paris and we have to wait for the next plane coming from our beloved capital. So we were upset, but not that worried until we looked at the receipts. The bags had been registered under the name of Esposito. We don't know anything about that person, except he or she must have friends or relatives in Florida, as his or her destination - was Miami. The machine in Toulouse had messed up and played the same joke on many other passengers that same morning. It took a good five hours to find that out, and to confirm our bags were on the Miami flight and not Mars bound on some outer space probe (with our luck, you never know). We were on the verge of going back to Toulouse: the tournament was starting on the very next morning and we hadn't walked the fields, we didn't have our equipment nor any clothes, things looked grim and we looked even grimmer. The toothbrushes, toothpaste and soaps we were given by the airplane company did very little to cheer us up. On hearing about our troubles, Niclas simply said "No problem". Niclas is one of the organisers, along with Simon and Steve. He had already taken care of finding us a place to stay, and was now telling us he would find everything we would need to play! I don't know the names of all those who lent us tops, shoes, goggles, gloves, markers, tanks and all the stuff without which we would have been angry spectators, but thank you all. Anyway, our true stay started with a night out. Having discovered that sunrise was at 4am and that we could walk the fields before our first game, we had decided to party. During that night, I asked our host what the national meal was. He didn't know the answer, nor did anybody he forwarded my question to. This is of no importance right now, but proved to be of consequence later. Forty-five teams had come with various aims. Understand the word 'aim' as you please, the sentence will remain true. The system used was supposed to be the same as in the Mayhem Masters: divisions of six teams on day one, same thing on day two, then semi-finals and finals on day three. Actually, the divisions of six were turned into groups of five, which didn't bother anybody. Each division, called a 'pool', contained two Pros and three Amateurs. Five fields were used, and on a few of them we had the nice surprise of discovering some Mayhem Tigers whose reputation as marshals is undisputed. Some NWC players had come as well to practice getting hit by badly aimed shots. Players from local teams such as Chimeras, Slamdancers, True Colors and others I'm sorry to have forgotten provided the rest of the refs. It is common knowledge that foreign teams tend to believe the bad calls they suffer from have no other reasons than the referees being prejudiced or biased against strangers. What I mean is that if the marshalling isn't four stars grade, you're bound to hear about it. Well hear this: we didn't have one single problem to sort out with the usually short-sighted bright coloured brainless barkers! Not one. Not the smell nor the shape nor the idea of one. Moreover, on many occasions we felt the refs deserved compliments for their swiftness and sharp eyes. Some of us said it was the best marshalling we had ever seen. It certainly ranked high by our standards. Good job. The rules were pretty much the same as anywhere else, 1-4-1 and stuff, except maybe for the first flag grab 25 points. I've struggled a long time in order to ban such a rule from France, as I feel that designing balanced fields is difficult enough without adding the trouble of positioning the flag exactly in the right place, especially if first grab is worth so many points (a Max was 100 points). Three teams only were from somewhere else than Sweden, Finland, Norway or Denmark: the All Americans, since they played host to Phil (Ham) and Phil (Webb), the Ditch Dogs (all UK) and the Tontons Flingeurs, 100% frog eaters. Let's not forget some English Paintballers among the True Colors, and we'll have all of the aliens rounded up.
2nd (Pro) All Americans In pool A, the All Americans started in their usual style by slowly but consistently grinding down Joy Division, only missing one first pull overall to finish with 375 points. Joy Division Maxed everyone else for 310 points. From Finland, Defensor Capatali II did some nice stuff and earned 235 points. Silent Kebab stayed quietly at 75 and Just For Fun II eliminated six opponents out of a possible 20 to end up with 30 points. Pool B was tight. The True Colors managed two wins as well, Marsipalmi were close on their heels at 235. With two wins also but alas not much more, the Banderas ran up to 200. The Stormbringers and the Finnish players from Fenix claimed their shares of wins, ending up 168 points for the former and 145 for the latter. Slamdancers and Cosmonauts battled for the lead in Pool C. With 350 points, the team #2 of the True Colors in the end did better than their spatial opponents, at 330. The field team (if I'm not mistaken, my Swedish is a bit shaky) the Torpet Tigers looked good with 245 points. Quality Time from Finland won one for 109 points, and Wolfpack from Norway earned 10. Not unexpectedly, the Teddy Bears cruised in pool D with four Maxes. The Danes from Berserks fell against the former but recovered well and managed three wins and 300 points. Sixpack won two for 210 points, the Dramen Snipers from Norway claimed the last win available for 109, leaving the Desparados with a blank score. Pool E started with a near-miss for the Tontons, who had a bad time against the Fins from Kojootit. They grabbed the flag and charged, but in the end, the last remaining player on field was one of us and the flag was his. We finished the day with 375 points. Kojootit had proven dangerous against us, and didn't slow down. Their style was rewarded with 340 points. 68 Special from Finland and NBK from Norway were side by side for 3rd place. NBK made it by one elimination, 143 points for them against 138 for the Fins. Team Faith was out of the race with 10 points. For a light hot gun, Ugly Ducklings/BTKA missed the perfect score in pool F, but 387 was a nice total nevertheless. For the others, things weren't so easy, as the other Pro team, La Macchia, managed two wins but finished with a disappointing 195. They were beaten by the Finnish Team Hopeless who Maxed two and topped them with 220 points. Cyclone, another Finnish team, followed with 150, and since everybody in this pool had won at least one game, the Garbage Gang from Norway gathered 104 points. In pool G, the Ditch Dogs decided that since you couldn't trust those degenerate Americans nor those rustic French, someone had to show our hosts foreign teams could be polite so they decided 234 points were enough and let Just For Fun lead the group. The latter promptly accepted and didn't stop until they had collected 400 points. Garbage Gang II took the offer too, and having decided they had something to tell their #1 team, they accumulated more than twice as many points 250. La Trikka from Finland finished on 115, and Tom Fuu's with a blank score. Defensor Capatali told us they didn't want to be seeded Pro, that they shouldn't even have been seeded Amateur. When you look at their 164 points you may think they weren't totally wrong, but I'll come back to that later. The Balrogs ended up best Pro team in pool H, with 215 points, but first place was taken by the Amateur Team Subway, with 257 points. Tonox from Finland got 111 points and the Crocodiles managed 50 with a first grab. In pool I, the Tactical Vipers took a fast start and left everyone far behind their 349 points. The struggle for second place was fierce, but was eventually won by the Finnish Dream Team at 215 points, closely followed by Color Me Bad at 209 and the Swampers at 204. Talk about tight! Team Psycho didn't succeed in this competition and finished with no points. We stayed on the site to know our pools for the next day. We had calculated our ranking and thought we knew, but wanted to make sure. It wasn't very easy, since there was no scoreboard to look at, and the organisers were overwhelmed by questions from every team. After a while, Simon explained that the system had just been changed, for some reasons that he certainly deemed good. All but two Pro teams would be dispatched in three divisions of six and would keep their current score. The best two in each group would proceed to the semi-finals. We felt this made the first round look pretty much useless, except for the 'you keep your scores' part. But it didn't make a lot of difference to us; we were there to play and have fun and weren't going to complain. Anyway, it would have been difficult to complain to someone who was obviously very worried about making sure we would have a great time. And the fact we didn't have to walk another field was a relief. Our bags came in that night. At first, we didn't recognise them: the taxi delivered three bizarrely shaped parcels very tightly wrapped in a green plastic film - like those people entangled in alien slime Sigourney Weaver tries to rescue. Our operation 'Restore Shape' came a bit late; our belongins had suffered internal damage in the transport-wrapping process. Tears, prayers, insults and surgery were fruitless on a broken ram, a badly curved rod and a twisted beaver-tail. Thanks to the gentleness of the airplane company employees, everything that couldn't be crushed nor bent was intact. At least our Romeos had ironed shirts and rejoice everyone a hair dryer. Eager to test the effect of our costumes on the local population, or part of it, we went out to Stockholm. You could call it the Green City of the Many Bridges: it is built on several islands on the Malar lake and surrounded by forests. There are very nice buildings everywhere, but food is about twice as expensive as in France, and that goes for drinks too! But if you feel lucky, you can try to drink on the house. In every bar, there are Black Jack and Roulette tables! On Saturday morning and barely awake, we drove back to the site of the tournament (Paintball Torpet, in case I forgot to mention). Our first game against True Colors went to the time limit and is hardly worth a mention. We eliminated one or two of them, they took none of us out. It was the clash of the sleepy against the dormant! Our game against Just For Fun on a rocky and hilly field was more lively. Very soon, we were four on four, each team with a weak right side. A few seconds elapsed, and we were three on three, each team with almost no right side anymore. Then our centre player came out from nowhere and eliminated two Swedes. He called to the Tonton who was on his left: "Come on, there's no one in front of you". This call was heard by the Tonton who was on his right; he then started to run forward, providing the Swedes with an extra five points. Who said you needed a degree in communication to play Paintball? Before our game against them, players from Defensor Capatali came to have a chat with us. They looked uneasy, and maybe scared. They were telling us it was going to be a fast game, because they were barely Amateurs and such. Disconcerted by such a display of humility, we told them no game was won or lost until it was over and that kind of thing. I admit we were wondering if it wasn't a psychological trap. In the end we did beat them quickly, but during the game they earned our respect. They came fast, hard and daring, and almost went through our left wing. When their storming attack failed, they held their ground fiercely and didn't make anything easy for us. They might not have the experience yet, but they certainly have the will and the talent. We played La Macchia and the Cosmonauts on the same field we had played Defensor. I didn't have to worry about the toss, we wanted what the others called the bad end. From there, we could have the flag first after a short crawl, pin down their centre, break through their right wing and close in on the last one.
1st (Pro) - Joy Division In Pro Group One, the All Americans and the Teddy Bears, who were the top ranking teams, both made it through, leaving the Slamdancers, Kojooit, Marsipalmi and the Balrogs out. In Pro Group Two, the Ugly Ducklings surprisingly failed to make the cut. The Tactical Vipers added 410 points to their previous 394 and qualified for the Sunday. Joy Division achieved 655 points and were the lower scoring team to qualify for the next day. Had another system been used, the 660 points of the Cosmonauts would have earned them a place in the semi-finals. I don't intend to criticise the system, I just want to stress the fact it was a close call for Joy Division, but you'll see how interesting this is later on. In this group, the Berserks, the Ditch Dogs and the Finnish Dream Team didn't make it. The system was exactly the same for the Amateurs, except they had been separated in four groups instead of three, and that they would go directly in a division of eight teams for the finals. Banderas, Fenix, Sixpack, the Torpet Tigers, Color Me Bad, Tonox, Team Subway and Quality Time all earned the right to play on day three. Sunday morning came after a long night or a short one, depending on your point of view. The Pros had been separated in two pools of three. The first from each pool would then play for 1st or 2nd place, the second from each pool would play for 3rd or 4th place and so on. In pool A, the All Americans stated they hadn't come for less than second place. They took the lead with two Maxes, and left the Teddy Bears with 65 points and the Tactical Vipers with a negative score. In pool B, we decided that the time to be polite had come. We beat Just For Fun as a matter of habit, but didn't eliminate a single player from Joy Division. They really mastered that Field One. For the last game, the number of points you made wasn't important. The organisers just needed a winner and a loser. Just For Fun beat the Tactical Vipers in a game I didn't witness. I was feeling ill, and was replaced by Tris from NMC. They sent him to the 'bunker' I was supposed to go to but never had, since we hadn't played from that end on that field. So Tris did the experiment instead of me. That so called barricade was full of holes, and probably still is. Well, I'm supposed to be the one in the team who will survive in the most improbable places, at least that's what they've decided after seeing my room. Anyway, the Teddy Bears made the good moves and logically won that game, taking 3rd place. Eventually, the All Americans and Joy Division met for 1st place.
From the start, it was obvious Joy Division knew the two or three key positions that would make any attack hopeless. They ran for the flag and got first grab. After that, they got rid of the two players they didn't need, or that's what it looked like. The Aa's had lost two as well, but couldn't move. All of a sudden, Phil Ham called a marshal and immediately rose and started to walk off the field. I thought he was trying to pull a dead man's walk. He wasn't. He had just realised, while calling the marshal, there were only 11 seconds to go and that the tournament was over. The tournament was over, but not our stay. Since I had asked Niclas what their national meal was, he, Simon and Steve had decided to organise a typical dinner for all of the foreign teams in a restaurant downtown. They really went out of their way to make sure we would enjoy ourselves - thankyou for everything. This event will grow up and get better with time. Tables, tents and a scoreboard could be added. As it is, it ranks in the 10 best ones we've seen, and we've played in over '70 tourneys. Jean-Manuel Maries Paint site design and contents Copyright Mike Wallis |
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